A funny post that was forwarded to me. Here's to a great weekend.
RAJNI KANTH the the supasta' :P
(i used to know this guy who loved talking abt him, laughing @ him, remembering his stories/jokes, and maybe even watched them on tele, ya but most definitely "posing" like mr RAJNI KANTH! :P and ppl....he did it well!!! :P i mean i used to laughhhh.... :-) good ol' times!!!)
One one such Newton's trip to India, he watched a few movies...esp tamil movies... and they had his head spinning...he was convinced that all his logic & laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done... :P
Particularly in the movies of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes responsible for this...
1)BRAIN DRAIN : Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through is ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajanikanth!
2)Blade Splitter : A goon shoots a bullet at Rajni. What does he do? He simply takes out a blade from his pocket and throws it at the bullet. (All this is done while the bullet is still mid-air).
The bullet is split into two and takes different directions - avoiding our superhero. To add more spice to this crazy episode, two goons are standing behind Rajni and get killed by the split bullets!
3) Force of Nature :Rajnikant and miracles go hand in hand. In a particular sequence, spring-soled Rajni jumps high up in the air, stays up there for a few minutes, defying gravity. He then begins to wave his arms and legs in such a furious way that it generates a huge sandstorm! The sand gets in the eyes of the villains who fall to the floor. Thinking
4) Celestial Connection : Rajni plays a psychiatrist in a movie where he strangely doubles as a mind reader. No, he doesn't just guess what you're thinking - he can actually listen to every word, every syllable you utter in your mind.
He then goes on to display further celestial power when by merely waving through the air, he changes half a moon to a full moon progressively.
5)Inspired Shooting : Rajnikant gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. Unfortunately the wall is so high that our otherwise gravity-defying superhero can jump over it. But the villain has to be killed because the film is nearing the climax.
So what does he do? He suddenly pulls two guns from his pocket, throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached the height of the wall, he shoots the trigger of the first gun in air, with his second gun. The first gun ends up shooting the villian and he falls dead!
6) Ek teer, 6 shikaar : Rajni is sitting on one side of a swimming pool talking to the villain. On the other side of the pool, six goons of the villain are standing and observing. When the argument gets heated, the villain winks at his men & each one throws a knife at Rajni.
Our hero effortlessly catches all the knives in one hand hand (without putting them down or switching hands after catching!) He then spreads them out like a deck of playing cards in his hand so that all six knifes are visible (&in order).He then throws the knifes &kills all six goondas in one go! Laugh
7) Bollywood Ishtyle : Rajnikanth plays a police officer and is sitting on his motorcycle under a coconut tree. Suddenly he sees a couple of villains escaping in a car.
Not one to do things the ordinary way, Rajni holds the clutch, puts his bike in gear, takes his gun and fires upwards. A coconut falls on the starter, Rajni releases clutch, and away he goes chasing the villains - in ishtyle! ROTFL
8) Lord Rajni : A bunch of villains accost Rajnikant and without batting a lid, he puts his hands in his pocket, is it a gun....?? No. It is a knife which he throws in the air and voila - it defies gravity and stays there!
What's more, the knife starts rotating in the air like the Sudharshan hakra - Rajni has become Lord Vishnu. How can the Goondas fight the all powerful Lord so they faint and fall to the ground. Rajnikant walks out smiling and shaking his head in his typical fashion.
9) Saviour with Style : Rajnikanth always saves his women in style. Once while saving the heroine, he gets shot at and his quick reflexes enable him to pick up a hollow iron rod, stop the bullet by lodging it inside the rod and then turn around and, of course, kill the villain.
In another movie, Rajni's lady love is hanging on a high volt line and the goon switches on the transformer. No problem. Rajni simply runs faster than the current - actually shown - and saves the lady. Face Plant
10) Magnet Magic : Rajnikant is sitting in a college campus, waiting for some goons to harass the girls. When he sees them coming on their bicycles, he takes out two huge Iron Yoke magnets from his pocket, twists them wildly in the air which lifts the goons in the air with theiry cycles and they all twist in perfect harmony.
He then puts the magnets back in his pockets, the goons fall to the ground and run away as usual!
11) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in your remotest imaginations.
He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun.
Bang... the gangster dies...
This was too much for our Newton to take!
He was completely shaken and decided to go back!
But guess what they were playing on the flight.. that is how he happened to see another Rajnikanth movie... for one last time, and optimistically he thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes on fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops, not so fast!
The 'climax' finally arrives...
Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because it's the climax.
(Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?)
Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air.
The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.
Newton faints...
:-D
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Transfer News
Well, this wasn't what you would call an extravagant transfer window by any means. However, the football community witnessed the usual flurry of activity on deadline day as clubs tried to make last minute signings.
Lets take a look at the business done by my three favourite clubs- Barcelona, AC Milan and Manchester United. Note that I will discuss only the major players signed and not necessarily all the players signed by any club:
BARCELONA:
IN:
David Villa- Probably the biggest signing of the season. The phenomenal striker has been brought in after it came to notice that the Blaugrana were over reliant on Messi's goals last season. Villa is a very versatile player; he can play as a target man, on the left wing, also just behind the striker, he's got good balance, pace, is two footed, has a venomous strike which is almost always accurate and he can generate that extra yard of space for himself. In short, the ideal strike partner for Messi.
Javier Mascherano: After Busquets' vulnerability was ruthlessly exposed by a disciplined inter milan side, the signing of Mascherano comes as a major boost. He is solid defensively, and can play fantastic long balls to the forward players- something that Busquets is incapable of.
OUT:
Zlatan Ibrahimovic: See AC Milan
Yaya Toure: An aging defensive midfielder past his prime. With Manchester City ready to pay excessively(thanks to their noobie owner), this transfer generated much needed cash for Barca.
Thierry Henry: Made a move to the New York Red Bulls after being told that he had no future at the club.
Rafael Marquez:: Made the journey to NYRB with Henry.
AC MILAN:
IN:
Zlatan Ibrahimovic: Probably the shock transfer of the season. After shelling around 40 million euros plus Samuel Etoo' on the Swedish marksman, Barcelona have loaned him to AC Milan on a 1 year deal.
Robinho: Signed on deadline day, Robinho is an addition to possibly the best attack in Europe. With Ibra, Pato, Robinho and Ronaldinho as strikers with supply from Pirlo and Seedorf, this is one of the most if not the most potent attack in Europe.
OUT:
Klaas Jan Huntelaar: After warming the benches for 2 seasons, the out of favour Dutch striker has joined German club Schalke04.
MANCHESTER UNITED:
IN:
Javier Hernandez: After electrifying performances in the world cup, it looks like Sir Alex Ferguson has again gotten a bargain deal for the diminutive Mexican. Touted as the next Solskjaer, this one is sure to sparkle at OT.
Chris Smalling: Transferred from Fulham, this English centre half is a great future prospect for united.
Bebe: Signed for 7.4 mil pounds from Vitoria de Guimaraes, Bebe's stock has suddenly skyrocketed in a span of twelve months.A fantastic finisher with a great burst of pace, Bebe's time will come soon at OT. \m/
Some other transfer stories:
REAL MADRID:
Undoubtedly, the signing of the season was made by Real Madrid when they appointed Jose Mourinho as the manager to try and break Barcelona's stranglehold on Spanish football.
LIVERPOOL:
The less said about pool, the better. First they sell off Xabi Alonso. The following season they sell off Mascherano, n sign Joe Cole. Liverpool seem to have accepted their fate as a faded superpower in european football.
MANCHESTER CITY:
Saglyat jasta valval yannich keli ahe.
Signed Yaya Toure n David Silva for exorbitant fees. Signed the likes of Milner and God knows who to try and break into the top four in England. Mi tar mhanto, 34 varshat 1 pan trophy jinkle nahiyet, paise var ale asle tari tyane trophy milat nahi!!!
Readers are always welcome to post any significant signing which i may have missed. :)
Lets take a look at the business done by my three favourite clubs- Barcelona, AC Milan and Manchester United. Note that I will discuss only the major players signed and not necessarily all the players signed by any club:
BARCELONA:
IN:
David Villa- Probably the biggest signing of the season. The phenomenal striker has been brought in after it came to notice that the Blaugrana were over reliant on Messi's goals last season. Villa is a very versatile player; he can play as a target man, on the left wing, also just behind the striker, he's got good balance, pace, is two footed, has a venomous strike which is almost always accurate and he can generate that extra yard of space for himself. In short, the ideal strike partner for Messi.
Javier Mascherano: After Busquets' vulnerability was ruthlessly exposed by a disciplined inter milan side, the signing of Mascherano comes as a major boost. He is solid defensively, and can play fantastic long balls to the forward players- something that Busquets is incapable of.
OUT:
Zlatan Ibrahimovic: See AC Milan
Yaya Toure: An aging defensive midfielder past his prime. With Manchester City ready to pay excessively(thanks to their noobie owner), this transfer generated much needed cash for Barca.
Thierry Henry: Made a move to the New York Red Bulls after being told that he had no future at the club.
Rafael Marquez:: Made the journey to NYRB with Henry.
AC MILAN:
IN:
Zlatan Ibrahimovic: Probably the shock transfer of the season. After shelling around 40 million euros plus Samuel Etoo' on the Swedish marksman, Barcelona have loaned him to AC Milan on a 1 year deal.
Robinho: Signed on deadline day, Robinho is an addition to possibly the best attack in Europe. With Ibra, Pato, Robinho and Ronaldinho as strikers with supply from Pirlo and Seedorf, this is one of the most if not the most potent attack in Europe.
OUT:
Klaas Jan Huntelaar: After warming the benches for 2 seasons, the out of favour Dutch striker has joined German club Schalke04.
MANCHESTER UNITED:
IN:
Javier Hernandez: After electrifying performances in the world cup, it looks like Sir Alex Ferguson has again gotten a bargain deal for the diminutive Mexican. Touted as the next Solskjaer, this one is sure to sparkle at OT.
Chris Smalling: Transferred from Fulham, this English centre half is a great future prospect for united.
Bebe: Signed for 7.4 mil pounds from Vitoria de Guimaraes, Bebe's stock has suddenly skyrocketed in a span of twelve months.A fantastic finisher with a great burst of pace, Bebe's time will come soon at OT. \m/
Some other transfer stories:
REAL MADRID:
Undoubtedly, the signing of the season was made by Real Madrid when they appointed Jose Mourinho as the manager to try and break Barcelona's stranglehold on Spanish football.
LIVERPOOL:
The less said about pool, the better. First they sell off Xabi Alonso. The following season they sell off Mascherano, n sign Joe Cole. Liverpool seem to have accepted their fate as a faded superpower in european football.
MANCHESTER CITY:
Saglyat jasta valval yannich keli ahe.
Signed Yaya Toure n David Silva for exorbitant fees. Signed the likes of Milner and God knows who to try and break into the top four in England. Mi tar mhanto, 34 varshat 1 pan trophy jinkle nahiyet, paise var ale asle tari tyane trophy milat nahi!!!
Readers are always welcome to post any significant signing which i may have missed. :)
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